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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Wondering am I once the best in your heart within this 11months...

While I was driving back home just now and got stuck in the traffic, I think a lot because something happen again. Always the same matter that we always argue for.

I always tell people that "if you were able to lift it up, why were you not able to put it down".
I realise this word it's just a part of motivation which couldn't help much. *I think so*
Somehow, not everyone can do it.

Love is not easy as ABC.
It has to go thru a lot of level to understand and feel the true happiness of it.
Along the way, you get to know the real identity of your mate.
Started to show his own way of life and reveal himself.
It is up to you whether you are able to take it and accept the fact or not.
This is when you learn to accept your spouse and is he/she the one for you?

Love is a big, heavy and harsh duty.
You have to be strong to lift it up.
All it takes is strenght.
Like you're lifting up a 100kg of stones which is double of your weight.
It is hard for you to put it down although you're able to lift it up.
Even you're able to put it down, you'll hurt yourself or kill yourself. (terhempap batu)

I feel like I'm making this relationship too easy for you.
It's easy for you to say sorry because I easily forgive you all the time.
I felt like I'm taking all the blames although I still think that I'm not wrong and I'm not right.
You said that I revenge on you, why the heck I do that for?
What for I forgive you?
In your heart, am I that cruel to you?

Once I was found guilty, I am remain the prisoner in your heart.
I will never be one of the best because you never try to put me in the right situation.
You were able to ignore everything because of me because you have the freedom.

You chose to spend with me and cancelled everything without planning it with me first.
Then once again you blame on me.
Have you ever think that you might be free but I'm not?
I'm having a different lifestyle than yours.
Says yourself are not important to me.
Am I important to you just only you put me at the first place than anyone and same goes to blaming?
Because I'm the first to be blame.
Somehow, I'm not like you.....

I know you sayang me a lot that's why you got emo easily.
Your heart is too fragile but mine not?
Everytime we argue, you keep breaking my heart.
Whereas somehow I tried to make sure I did not hurt you.
Do you think I can do that always?
I have my own limits.
Don't cross my limit.
But you did.

All you know was sitting there waiting me to come.
All you know was I have a car I can travel as far as I can.
All you know was I'm the one to blame whenever something happen to you.
All this thing, you can shot me back. I know you will. But think.
I know you won't think about it also. Because you're like don't care.
You got your own difficulties, so do I.
First, you don't have the transport and I don't have much freedoms.
It's the same. WHY I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR PROBLEM BUT NOT YOU?!
It's not like it's the first day you met me.

Have you ever figure out why is it we still being together until now?

I'm tired of you behaving this way. You're getting emo more and more faster.

Until now, you still don't understand me.
Don't say that I'm hard to understand. Did you put any effort on that?

Tell me what should I do?
Just tell me what you want.

No-one ever understand how I feel...
And you? Probably you might at Carlos now hanging with them and act nothing happen or whatever and thinks that I'm talking crap right now.
Oh yea, I wasn't drunk on Saturday.
Know why? Coz I did not start a fight with you and flip the table on the spot at Spicy.
I know myself.

I hate myself for doing this but there is seriously no place for me to say it.

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