Sometimes...

Sometimes I really wanted to go far far away where I could escape from everyone. A place where everyone is a stranger to me and they don't know anything about me. London, the place where I would really wanted to go for now. Second, Taiwan and China. Watched too much "Queen of SOP" I think.... Sometimes I have the mind of her. Rule is rule, thinking when will I be able meet my prince, whatever. I can live independently. Under one roof with my family makes me feel so dependent on them. Long driving from home to campus is tiring. Makes me feel time is short, I can't do much thing.


I realize how badly I couldn't defend for myself. Couldn't scold someone who makes me feel so down, anger and everything because whenever I think about it, I would ask myself first. It was me who being so confronted and committed to everything first. Miserably...



True. Everyone thinks that I'm strong...


If he really called, I might owe Galib a tequila. Yeah, we chat last night. Now he know why I'm being so into this matter. Not really much people know bout my past. My story was, I've been hurt by someone who I trusted that he would change, hold me till the last breath of mine, hold my hand till I'm dead, love me for how I aged, everything. At the end, he just walk away. All the words and promises he made, it was just a sweet talk and empty promises. But after all I've gone thru this, experienced it once, now I did it again and this time is even worst. I am being so committed to someone whom I never met, hold strong to his words, fall for him and saying background is bullshit. I promised not to play a game with someone's feeling but in the return, I'm in the game of theirs. Am not blaming them because I take their statements so easily. I admit it was my own fault and everything just a misunderstanding. Sorry...

Sorry for the grandmother story. I've think too much again. Sorry.


Wish I could think like this.
- je m'appelle Amanda... ❤